For many people, the hardest part of therapy is the first booking. Once you’ve booked, a new set of questions shows up. What will I say? Will I have to tell my whole life story? What if I cry? What if I can’t think of anything to say?
Here’s what a first session with me usually looks like, so there are fewer unknowns.
Before we begin
You don’t need to prepare anything. Some people like to jot down a few notes beforehand, and that’s fine, but it isn’t necessary. For an online session, find a private, quiet spot where you won’t be overheard. Headphones help, and so does sitting somewhere comfortable.
How the hour goes
Confidentiality first. I’ll start by explaining how your privacy is protected, and the few situations, such as a serious risk to your safety or someone else’s, where the law means I can’t keep something confidential. You can ask anything about this.
What brings you here. I’ll ask what’s been going on and what made you reach out now. You can start wherever you like: with something that happened last week, a feeling you can’t shake, or even “I’m not sure why I’m here.” All of these are perfectly good starting points.
A bit of context. I may ask gently about your daily life, work, relationships, sleep and health, so I can understand the bigger picture. You never have to answer anything you’re not ready to.
What you’d like to be different. Towards the end we’ll talk about what you hope to get from therapy. It doesn’t need to be a polished goal. “I want to stop feeling so on edge” is enough.
Next steps. If it feels right to both of us, we’ll agree on how often to meet. If I think a different kind of support would serve you better, such as a psychiatrist or a specialist, I’ll tell you honestly and help you find it.
A few honest reassurances
- Crying is normal and welcome. Tissues are part of the furniture.
- Silences are fine. We’ll find our way through them.
- You’re allowed to say “I don’t want to talk about that yet.”
- It’s okay to feel a little drained afterwards. Plan something gentle for later if you can.
- Fit matters. If something about how we work doesn’t suit you, please say so. That feedback helps.
Starting therapy isn’t a sign that you’ve failed to cope. It’s a decision to stop carrying everything alone. When you’re ready, you can choose a time here.